About Me

I'm not quite sure where to begin . . .but what I can share with certainty is that where I am now in life - especially in regards to my health - is nothing short of an illogical "miracle" from the perspective of the American western medical system (which did nothing but make me sicker). From a young age I suffered from many 'mystery' ailments including autoimmune disorders, painful stomach ulcers, anxiety, depression, endometriosis, fatty liver disease, and widespread chronic pain. I was also an extremely emotionally sensitive child and felt everything deeply with no tools to help me cope. For a long time I thought my body was a prison that I was trapped inside. I believed the doctors when they convinced me year after year that my body was "attacking itself" with no real explanation of why.  I took the drugs, the steroids, the immunosuppressants. . .and they did nothing but transfer my issues to a different part of my body - a new side effect, and a new unfamiliar hell. After years of this and the realization that I wasn't actually healing, I put my foot down. At 17 I fired my "doctors" and told them I was going to figure things out on my own. That decision was met with fear mongering as the doctors told me I would get cancer and die if I dared to go my own way. So I dared, because the way I was living wasn't actually worth living for. 

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I started with diet. I stuck to an extremely clean and limited AIP diet for nearly 6 years, and worked alongside a naturopath to try and figure out what my body was trying to tell me. This was my first toe dip into the holistic healing world. Although my efforts helped, they still weren't enough. I improved but plateaued, and remained stuck at a "better but still not good" state of health for years.

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It wasn't until I got attuned in Reiki Level 1 in 2020 that I finally broke this cycle and began to awaken to what was really going on. Desperate to break free, I attended an online Reiki attunement feeling skeptical but willing to try anything. To this day I'll never forget how sweaty my hands got during my initiation. One thing to know about any Reiki level 1 training is that the biggest part of the initiation lies in practicing Reiki on yourself for a minimum of 28 days after your attunement. So I did. I began practicing on myself for 15-20 minutes a day, and each time I would have a huge and unexpected emotional release. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. After that period of self practice, 80% of my autoimmune symptoms and chronic pain nearly disappeared. I could stomach food again without pain and was able to get out of bed. I was stunned. Why did no one tell me that placing my hands on myself with intention would heal me? THIS is when my power finally began to return to me, and it was just the beginning.

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Inspired by my miraculous results, I pursued Reiki seriously over the next year and worked towards Reiki Mastery. Throughout my practice on others and with clients, my mediumship skills exploded. This is a common side effect of channeling Reiki - you become an open vessel and psychic abilities come online. I was so grateful to have more health back than I ever thought was possible for me, but I still wasn't 100%. I was more determined than ever to continue to find the remaining pieces of my puzzle.

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Ironically, I've learned that a large part of true healing is believing and accepting that no part of you is, or has ever been broken. It's true - whatever internal belief held around being sick or unhealed will in fact keep you there. The mind is a powerful thing, and the body is even more intelligent. The body listens, and the body speaks. This is what lead me into Somatic Trauma Healing work. I felt exhausted by talk therapy and was tired of talking but not improving. This is when I learned that trauma is stored in the body. Trauma doesn't have to be a big, life changing event (although it can be). "Trauma" for most people, especially common in those who are chronically ill, refers to CPTSD. Complex PTSD (CPTSD) is a trauma-related condition resulting from prolonged or repeated exposure to abuse, neglect, or distress, leading to deep emotional wounds, difficulties with self-worth, trust, and regulation of emotions. Trauma can also be passed down and is ancestral - womb to womb - mother to baby. Ah, it was all making sense now. 

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Somatic trauma work is a body-centered healing approach that helps release stored trauma by integrating physical sensations, movement, and nervous system regulation to restore emotional balance and safety in the body.

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The more somatic healing work I did (breathwork, dancing, singing, EFT tapping, inner child work, etc) - AKA creating safety in my physical body to SEE and FEEL what wanted to be released, and then expressing it - the more deeply I healed. The more I dove into healing in this way, the more radically free and authentic I became in my life. I stopped doing things and surrounding myself with people that weren't for me. I learned the word NO and how to use it. I connected to my truest essence and all of the things that inspired creativity and wonder in me as a child. I learned how to hold space for myself and my feelings. Not just space, but compassionate, loving space. I finally began to feel SAFE. And I'm still continuing to do this. This "self" work has been the biggest and most critical piece on my healing journey.

 

The biggest thing I've learned is that I never had a disease. I was just in a state of dis-ease for a long time - completely disconnected from myself and my truth. I was holding onto too much - years and bloodlines worth of unexpressed pain, rage, grief, and fear. It took me a decade to realize that my body wasn't ever broken or "attacking itself" - it was screaming - desperately calling my power, my truth, and my soul back to Earth.